The lust for fame
first time meeting Joe exotic at his wynnewood zoo, a year before joining the production of “tiger king”.
I’ve never truly understood the desire for fame and fortune. In the film industry, however, fame can be quite alluring to the aspiring actor, influencer, or filmmaker. I remember being in film school where everyone wanted to be the next steven spielberg, quentin tarantino, or martin scorsese. I know countless aspiring actors who want to be the next Daniel Day-Lewis or Tom Cruise. Why? Fame. Fortune. Glamour. Red carpets. All the trappings of a big Hollywood powerhouse. It reminds me of a conversation with Glen Powell while I was wiring him up for sound on the set of “Twisters.” He was describing the grueling press tour for his film “Anyone But You,” to which I jokingly replied, “I’ve never been able to see the appeal of doing those press tours.” He smiled, and with a twinkle in his eye said, “Oh you know: fame, fortune, all that superficial crap.” Glen’s a great dude that knows where his priorities should be.
The truth of the entertainment industry is for every success story, there are hundreds of broken dreams and wasted lives. That’s just the brutal truth. I’ve seen it time and time again. By all means, chase your dreams, but do it wisely.
The ways that people deal with fame is fascinating. Once you have it, you realize you’ve completely lost your anonymity. You can’t go anywhere without being recognized, pestered, photographed, or even pitched to. I remember once working with Mark Cuban on a Shark Tank shoot in Dallas, Texas. After we finished filming, Mark was heading to his car in the parking lot, when suddenly, a man in a suit jumped out of his car and ran to Mark to pitch a business idea to him. (For the record, don’t do that!) Needless to say, Mark handled the situation like a pro and continued on with his day without breaking the man’s heart too badly. But, just imagine the possibility that anyone who runs up to you with excitement, just ends up wanting something from you.
I’ve noticed the parasitic nature of celebrity interactions several times during my days with them. I once worked with a former Thunder basketball player whose family regularly stole his money to spend on frivolous things. Then, there are those stars whose “assistants” are just friends who end up embezzling money, like Dane Cook and his brother. When you’ve been blessed with riches, people will come out of the woods to take it from you. They use the age-old excuse of “you should share!” while actively participating in pure thievery. Sharing involves a social contract in which the giver is not taken advantage of, yet we see “sharing” used as an excuse for manipulation all the time.
you’d be surprised at how many successful actors are not actually wealthy at all. Yes, they have money. Yes, they make residuals that simply flow into their bank accounts, but they are essentially just freelance contractors. The majority of actors are simply working actors hopping from job to job, trying to make a living. Just because you see them on TV, doesn’t mean they’re loaded. I’ve worked with several actors that were “cash poor” or had massive tax debt they were desperately trying to pay off through random indy projects. Thanks to the Covid shutdowns of 2020, the SAG/WGA double strike of 2023, and now the horrific 2025 wildfires in Los Angeles, work has been and will continue to be scarce for quite some time. We’re going on five years now of turbulent times for the United States film industry.
Social media has played an enormous role in the culture at-large influencing people to clamor for fame and fortune outside of just Hollywood. “If I could just go viral” seems to be the thought of so many aspiring influencers and content creators. Everyone wants to be heard, but so few actually have anything to say.
I think the most profound example I’ve seen of the foolish nature of being motivated by fame and fortune was one that we all saw during the Covid lockdowns: Joe Exotic, the Tiger King. By the time this documentary film went to Netflix, the team and I had been filming for nearly three years. We had been working with Joe leading up to his arrest, and I can tell you that he saw fame as a means to fortune, which he desperately wanted at all costs. He was consumed with the idea of being famous; so, he eventually got it. He had to be arrested for murder-for-hire and have a documentary made about him; but, he got famous, by god. What a strangely fitting end that his dream was fulfilled; yet now he must spend the rest of his life in a cage, just like all of those tigers he had spent his life keeping in captivity for so long. He fell victim to his own narcissism and lust for fame.
What’s even more sad is the sight of someone who becomes famous, but then fades back into obscurity. Goodness, I’ve seen that happen so many times. Insecurities tend to be on full display, with eyes darting around, madly looking for faces of approval. It’s the lasting scars of being loved and then forgotten.
I still stand by what I said to Glen Powell. I’ll never understand the appeal of being famous. Dear reader, anonymity is a gift. Not having the world watch your every move is a wonderful thing. You can make mistakes and move on. You can grow without being judged by thousands of strangers. You can live your life, have a happy family, and watch your children grow in privacy. Value your lack of fame. Find your fortune elsewhere if you can, and earn it with hard work and sweat. Never envy someone who has fame; it is fleeting as viewers drift from one brief trend to the next.
Does this mean I don’t believe anyone should pursue acting? Absolutely not. The craft of acting and a career as a director, writer, or producer can be one of the most rewarding things you can imagine. But, if your motivation is to get rich and famous, I would proceed with great caution. If you’re not in it for the craft and the genuine love of it, you may be setting yourself up for a hard road ahead.
In the mean time, take a look at the world around you. What is your purest source of joy? At the end of the day, that’s what we all want isn’t it? Joy. In my experience, true joy isn’t found in the approval of others. It’s found in the relationships we’ve forged along the way. It’s a connection to this incredible creation surrounding us. True joy for me is my wife and daughter running to me with hugs and kisses at the end of a hard day’s work, not a stranger running to me for a picture or an autograph. I’ll take my family’s love over all of the riches and fame the world can offer.
Until next week,
Brian
A fly on the wall
It’s a new year! We’ve all officially made it to 2025.
Hopefully that means that this will be a year of new goals, new opportunities, and changes both good and bad. Every year in late december, i sit down with my morning cup of coffee and write out a series of goals for myself, my family, and my business. I list everything from sharpening my spanish-speaking skills to attending training opportunities. It helps me get the next 12 months in focus and something I recommend for everyone. What are some of your goals for your body/mind/spirit?
The year of 2024 was pretty crazy. My wife and I had a newborn baby girl, we moved from the city to our country home out in shawnee, oklahoma and my wife graduated from nursing school after years of studying, tests, and inner torment. I, on the other hand, completed three feature films as a location mixer, did sound design and mixing for a fun suspense thriller, and even got to help the cherokee nation get their recording process established as they create cherokee language dubs for Amazon’s “The rings of power”.
i am excited to get the new year started with new clients, old clients, trying new things, and keeping the business growing to provide for the family. this year I will be expanding my offerings from just location sound mixing for various productions to more post-production sound design as well as podcast producing. (I’ve been wanting to experiment with a few fun sound design projects, so keep an eye on this website in the months ahead). last year was pretty rough, i’m not gonna lie. After covid and the sag/wGA strikes still showing the toll they’ve taken on the film industry, as well as the general slowdown of productions happening while hollywood figures out how to make a decent movie again, i was counting myself extremely blessed that we made it through without having to go into panic mode. I know so many others that have not been so lucky, and i pray this year is better for all of us.
the neat thing, though, is that I welcome all of these new challenges. Not a day goes by that I look around my home these days and i’m not overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness. Having kids is seriously one of the greatest adventures i’ve ever been on, and i’ve been on quite a few. Which leads me to the purpose of this blog…
for the longest time I have wondered what to do with all of these stories that i’ve gathered over the years during my time as a sound mixer. we soundies have a very unique situation where we are quite literally paid to listen. that’s all we do: listen. All day every day. When you do that for a living, you tend to hear moments and perspectives from every walk of life. So this blog is really just a place to put all of those stories. I’m calling this blog the only appropriate name I could think of: “a fly on the wall”.
My hope is that with these stories and the lessons i’ve learned from them, you the reader may take away some inspiration of your own. From celebrity interactions to sting operations to traveling all around the world, maybe just maybe some of these stories will speak to you just as strongly and profoundly as they spoke to me as they happened. It’s an incredible world that we live in, and I can’t wait to share more of that world with you.
Happy new year and god bless!
brian Gililland- sound dog okc